I used to care way too much about what other people were thinking of me and the things I did. I wanted to be the best and never fail. This made things really hard for me like making exams during school, the combination of perfectionism and the fear of failure were giving me blackouts multiple times. Not only in school but in friendships, relationships and work it was not easy either. When years pass by I start to realize that I cannot please everyone and I have been trying to please other people more than I was pleasing myself which didn’t bring me happiness at all.
Now I don’t say that I don’t give a fuck anymore about what people think and that I don’t care about other people’s feeling. I just started to decide myself who is worth giving a fuck about and who is just not even worth putting a single spark of energy in. It makes me such a happier person and doing things I love, failing things now. I love it because even if I fall I stand up again and try again because I love doing it. I don’t put any energy in things I don’t like which makes it easier to fight for what I do like.
I don’t say it is easy to change these things. Can you imagine a mom with young children saying: ” So, today I don’t give a fuck anymore about cooking, cleaning after your shit and I am going on a holiday to the Bahama’s for 3 months. 😛 Not really right? You first have to pre-organize what you want to give a fuck about and then make sure to find a balance.
For example when you always visit your mother on Saturdays but you don’t feel like doing that anymore. You are more than welcome to say I won’t do this anymore. Yes, she will probably feel rejected or hurt at first because she is used to having you over every Saturday. But that is the problem with us we don’t like to feel hurt or pain but that is what you need in order to get a change! The pain will pass and the new behavior of you coming over every month will be satisfying for her just as much over time.
Developing the ability to control and manage the fucks you give about certain things is the essence of strength and integrity. Like a fine wine, our fucks must age into a fine vintage, only uncorked and given on the most special fucking occasions.
If you want to know more about how to manage the things you care about or should care less about. Just read ” The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck”. I just finished it and I really recommend it.
See the cheapest link to buy this book down here: